No-Shave Roundup: “My beard enjoys long walks on cold days, shampoo, and fraternizing with fellow beards.”

“As to the whiskers, having never worn any, do you not think people would call it a piece of silly affection if I were to begin it now?” So wrote a beardless Abraham Lincoln to Grace Bedell, the 11-year-old admirer who first suggested that he “grow whiskers” before ascending to the presidency. Had Lincoln taken up residency at Wesleyan, it wouldn’t have taken him so freaking long: this campus has got more great beards than Jamaica’s got mangoes. Some of them look like muskrats, some Karl Marx, and many of them are thriving and growing all year long.

No Shave November is a week past. We howled, you submitted: beards, beards, and porno ‘staches out the wazoo. We’ve finished analyzing texture, follicle count, ‘stache, and general beardliness, and we are ready to post. This year’s submissions far surpassed the volume of last year’s. I suspect that has at least something to do with the efforts of one Jake Schofield ’12, who recently hosted the first ever No Shave party and celebrated “an ancient tradition.” Schofield reports: “Everyone won something, but only one manly man won the Best Beard award. It was unanimously decided that the manliest man of them all, Mr. Ofer Levy ’12, should receive this great honor.”

Click past the jump for Wesleying’s finest beard submissions and a full photo gallery.