Are you sick of the pleasant hum of jazz and coffee grinders in Espwesso? Does the dull roar of Olin’s main room make you want to peel your skin off? Has the humping of thesis writers in adjacent carrels gotten to you yet? Throw on a pair of headphones (or get ready to annoy your neighbors), because we have a sonic treat for you.
Oye, if you want to skip past the extensive discussion of experimental music borne out of the BBC Radiophonic Workshop and get straight to a hands-on procrastination tool, click here and get your experimental music on, ese.
Founded in 1958 in London, the BBC Radiophonic Workshop was much more than a Raygun Gothic name and a studio. In the late 1950s, the BBC Third Program—which was eventually folded into BBC Radio 3—was ramping up their dramatic output. Seeking atmospheric, ethereal sounds that couldn’t be produced through traditional sound design or instrumental techniques, the BBC Radiophonic Workshop was created in service of exploring then-cutting edge production methods to accompany the BBC’s radio productions. The resulting soundscapes resembled musique concrète and were prescient in the development of the electronic and experimental music that we have come to know and love today.
Click through to see more about the BBC Radiophonic Workshop’s creative output from the ’50s to today.
First, let us marvel at the premise of this website. I can handle the fact that there are places on the internet devoted entirely to children’s jokes. This much was inevitable. What is crazy is that there is an adult somewhere who reads the jokes for a living. I don’t really know how to feel about this.
Second, it should be noted that I take issue with the basic premise of this website. These jokes are not bad. They should not be derided as cute examples of childish attempts at humor. These kids are the real deal. Displaying comic sensibilities far beyond their purportedly tender years, these children are not afraid to lay down some raw material. Click past the jump for a few of my personal favorites …
I now present to you Micro Maniac: because the best kind of procrastination is the pointless kind.
Despite the fact that this glorious web display was originally created as an advertisement for one of the many corporate conglomerates overtaking our nation, and that it dates back to 2007 [that’s like, what, the jurassic age of the internet (and it’s not even #tbt— since when is that a thing anyways?)], I’ve chosen to share this website with you because I’m sure you’ve always been wondering things like what exactly happens when you microwave a football?
If you, like my hallmates, enjoy microwaving the unexpected (fruitsnacks, anyone?), then this website is for you. Including both food items and various non-edible objects one might find in a college dorm room, Micro Maniac will unveil to you the many mysteries of the microwave you’ve always been intent on solving. And you can make these wonderful discoveries without even leaving the comfort of your
study space. The more exciting items appear toward the bottom of the page; shout-out to the crayons, the ketchup packets, and, my personal favorite, the christmas lights.
Tip: If you don’t want to sit through the whole microwaving period you can fast forward to the meltdown point of each item and beyond…
Louis Wain loved cats. He built a career on amusing pictures of anthropomorphized cats (proof that cats were funny long before the internet). In the words of H. G. Wells, “He has made the cat his own. He invented a cat style, a cat society, a whole cat world. English cats that do not look and live like Louis Wain cats are ashamed of themselves.”
But then it got weird. Wain, who had been somewhat unstable all his life and had a family history of mental illness, descended into what was probably schizophrenia and was eventually institutionalized. But he kept drawing. The adorable kittens at christmas parties were replaced by what is really best described as trippy shit. Abstract repetitious patterns, wild colors, and the eyes! oh, the eyes!
Progressions of Louis Wain cats have been used to illustrate psychology text books as a visual record of deteriorating mental health, but maybe it’s too simple to say that the dude went crazy and that’s why he drew such freaky shit. People have questioned the chronology of the drawings: did the change in style really progress in time with the onset of schizophrenia? Maybe he was just experimenting?
As we enter the “I’m still hungover, but really need to start my work” period of Reading Week, fear not! Have I got the existential escape for you.
This oft-updates blog brings to light some of the life’s deepest mysteries, starring Garfield’s Jon Arbuckle.
From the site description:
Garfield Minus Garfield is a site dedicated to removing Garfield from the Garfield comic strips in order to reveal the existential angst of a certain young Mr. Jon Arbuckle. It is a journey deep into the mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness and depression in a quiet American suburb.
This site removes Garfield and leaves the ever-questioning Jon, who appears to have taken The Modern and the Post-Modern, starring Michael Roth.
A post about a Tumblr about comics about a Twitter feed described as “cryptic missives that read like Zen koans which have been dropped on a computer keyboard from a great height.”
It’s the last week of the semester, Reading
Week Two Days are upon us, and you know what that means: a fucking crateload of puppies are being shipped to Zelnick tomorrow it’s time for Wesleying’s biannual Procrastination Destination extravaganza. In brief, here’s the idea: from here on out, we’ll be posting a procrastinatory, addictive, and generally toxic link each day for the entirety of finals period. You’ll find yourself clicking these links and spamming your friends’ Facebook walls instead of starting the research paper that’s due tomorrow. You’re welcome. For previous Procrastination Destination content (which we won’t repeat), click here. To suggest a procrastinatory link, email us at staff(at)wesleying(dot)org.
Kicking off the series, today’s link is a Tumblr featuring comics about a Twitter feed described as “cryptic missives that read like Zen koans which have been dropped on a computer keyboard from a great height.” If you’re unfamiliar with bizarrely viral spam Twitter account @Horse_ebooks at this point in the game, just
give up skim the Wiki entry, followed by the five most recent tweets:
The best presidential-themed blog on the interwebs. Bar none.
If you’re still swamped in finals work, take a deep breath. Step away from that bibliography. Then check out Presidential Pickup Lines.
If you thought you were the only one who giggled in 11th grade APUSH when the textbook mentioned Teddy Roosevelt’s Big Stick Policy, rest assured: you weren’t. And this mostly self-explanatory Tumblr was made for you. Look no further for historically enlightening innuendos involving Reagan’s “trickle down” economics, Nixon’s unfortunate nickname (though it’s Ford’s pickup line), and—in two simple strokes of brilliance—Buchanan’s lifelong relationship status and Harding’s, well, name. There’s a wide range of representation across the ideological and popularity spectrum as well (on first glance I didn’t see any entries involving Tyler or Polk, but I scrolled pretty quickly).
The blog went fairly viral sometime circa October 2011, at which point its anonymous founder posted this note:
da·guerre·o·type: an early photograph produced on a silver or a silver-covered copper plate; also : the process of producing such photographs
If your discipline involves studying the past but you’re feeling rather undisciplined, today’s Procrastination Destination is just right for you. My Daguerreotype Boyfriend is a Tumblr “where early photography meets extreme hotness.”
Each post features a dude from the past whose appeal we can still today enjoy thanks to the invention of photography. Some daguerreotypes’ sources or subjects are not known (this guy is unknown but bears a strong resemblance to Orlando Bloom) while others are accompanied by interesting trivia or witty comments. Some daguerreotypes might serve as welcome fashion inspiration in these days of sweatpants and flip-flops. What they all have in common: these dudes have got it going on.
Ah, gin and juice (though you could probably figure that one out yourself).
So you’ve finished your final and all you want to do is kick back and relax. You know there’s a perfect drink to go with that new Nicki Minaj album but you just can’t figure out what it is…
Enter Drinkify. Now you’ve got a highball glass full of 10 oz. Vodka, 10 oz. Fassionola, and 8 oz. Orange juice, aka “The Nicki Minaj” (don’t forget to garnish with sugar). Life is good again.
Drinkify is Spotify for alcoholics. And it couldn’t be more wonderful.
Sometimes Bon Iver tenderly whispers, ‘Can I be the little spoon now?’
Sure, there’s procrasturbation in the Olin stacks come reading and finals week, but if that isn’t quite doing it for you anymore, check out boniverotica, or Bon Iver Erotic Stories. This Tumblr serves up bite-size anecdotes of romantic encounters with the band’s reclusive Grammy award-winning folk singer Justin Vernon, each one accompanied by visual stimuli—making it the perfect procrastination destination that isn’t too crass.
Some entries are outrageously twee, some are kind of funny, some are ridiculously silly, and a few actually really sound like fun!
As far as I can tell, boniverotica hasn’t yet scored a semi-anonymous interview with Huff Post, but it has been featured on TIME’s website. According to the article, for today’s quality PD we can thank a trio of twentysomething professionals from Colorado, who all find Bon Iver “inexplicably sexy” and “just wanted to ravish him.” In about three days, their Tumblr had received about 100, 000 visitors.
Vernon does not appear to have commented on his newfound sex appeal, but his girlfriend, the singer-songwiter Kathleen Edwards, reportedly said: “A girl can dream.” The TIME reporter also claims that Ryan Gosling’s days as the “hipster hearthrob meme” of choice are numbered, but I’m inclined to believe the competition isn’t quite over yet.