Okay so first of all, I would like to apologize in advance because I am about to freak you out a little. This isn’t even “the weird part of YouTube”, but still pretty weird. Unfortunately I am also familiar with the really weird part of YouTube but I will not traumatize you with child birth videos (do not watch them, or you will cry) or tutorials on how to use a blow up doll (also might make you cry).
So last week I came across TLC’s “My Strange Addiction” videos on YouTube. I really do not remember how, “the recommended videos” part on the right side is like a black hole; it just sucks me right in and I find myself having spent an hour watching completely random videos on YouTube.
So, My Strange Addiction is a documentary series focusing on abnormal compulsive behaviors, obviously all you need to watch while you should be writing a paper on Hegel. I honestly don’t know if some of them are even real….Like, how do you think TLC finds these people? Do they contact TLC and say something like “Hello yes I am addicted to drinking pig blood, hmu” ? I mean, I guess…
So here we go. This is one of my favorites because I actually relate to this woman:
Need a break from final exams and cold Middletown winter weather? Take a vacation through sound with aporee.org’s sounds of the world map!
The website makes it easy to explore the world through clips of ambient sound that its users have uploaded. Just click on a circle on the map to hear the sounds of that location, while the map shows you a satellite image of the area. Your sound-vacation is mere mouse clicks away!
Read on after the jump for some cool sound-destinations…
As finals begin, you’re probably (if you’re like me, at any rate) wishing you’d been a bit more productive during reading week. When you are taking those necessary breaks, though, why not procrastinate with something intellectual?
At the very least, you’ll sound smart at holiday parties, and you might even learn something academically useful. (I’ve cited TED Talks in papers before.) Also, all of these procrastination destinations happen to be audio- or video-based, meaning that you can listen to them while you do other things, like eat, clean or tear your hair out in frustration.
Did yesterday’s therapy dogs leave you wanting more furry love? Are you more excited to go home to your dog/cat/other beloved pet than to your friends or family? Do you still feel “too stressed” to start your Government paper? If you answered yes to any of these questions, or even if you’ve simply abandoned any pretense of getting work done, look no further.
The Internet is an incredible medium for sharing ridiculous and/or adorable animal antics. I think the first thing I ever watched on YouTube was a kitten video. Perhaps even better, though, is the live feed. Live feeds are great for extended periods of procrastination. Even if the puppies you’re watching are sleeping right now, they might wake up! That panda might come back. Also, it’s just one website, so there’s none of the shame of having forty videos in your web history during your “study break.” Contact with pets relieves stress, so probably watching animals on your computer is good for your mental health, right?
Is it weird that I’ve bookmarked so many coffee-related websites despite the fact that I don’t drink coffee?
It’s that time of year, folks: The writers of Wesleying are bringing you our biannual Procrastination Destination feature, where we post a frenzy of addictive, pointless, and/or awesome links to help you get your procrastination on every day for all of finals (today + reading period + actual finals week). Have a link you think would be rad for Procrastination Destination? Email us at staff(at)wesleying(dot)org.
First link in our PD lineup: Coffitivity.
Did you know that the “ambient noise of a coffee shop” can boost your creativity and productivity? Neither did I, but apparently Coffitivity knows more than us. I stumbled upon Coffitivity over a year ago and immediately spent 30 minutes playing with the coffee shop settings trying to find the right “category” of sounds. Was it Lunchtime Lounge (described as “bustling chatter of the lunchtime rush”), University Undertones (“The scholarly sounds of a campus cafe”), or something more meta, like Morning Murmur (“A gentle hum gets the day started”)?
Whatever you choose, I can promise this: You too will spend a large chunk of time trying to find the perfect setting and volume. For an app that claims to make you more productive, it might take you a little while to get to that point.
Read after the jump to see more coffee fun-ness.
We got a few tips in our tipbox about this, and also an e-mail from junior “Betty” who composed this song and video. Ze would like to remain anonymous for now, and is using this mesmerizing/weird video to promote hir upcoming EP. Here’s the shout out, Betty! Maybe this will become the new ironic dance move at our school.
Also, I am taking this opportunity to post some more links; it’s a mid-semester Procrastination Destination! I’m not the biggest proponent of Internet procrastination, but since you’re doing it anyway, here are some links:
- This program turns “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy” into “THEIR R MORE THNGS IN HAAEVN AND AARTH HORATIO THAN R DREMT OF IN UR PHILOSOPHY11!!! WTF” w00t.
For the last procrastination destination of the year, we bring you two rather similar and, again, rather self-explanatory websites: Siblings or Dating and Steak House or Gay Bar.
Siblings or Dating features pictures of people, generally who look alike, and asks you to vote on whether you think they are siblings or a couple. Frustratingly, it does not actually tell you what the answer is, but does tell you how many other people selected the ones that you chose.
Steak House or Gay Bar (see image above) is equally self-explanatory: the website gives you a name and you have to use your deductive reasoning to determine whether it is a steak house or a gay bar. It will tell you where the (steak house | gay bar) happens to be, and also what percentage of people also got the answer right or wrong. The website keeps a running tally so that you know what percentage of your guesses have been correct. It… is surprisingly difficult. I will tell you, however, that Loading Zone is indeed a gay bar.
If you have ever been on the Internet, you’re probably familiar with the phenomenon of cat photos. Whether you frequent Buzzfeed on the daily or had a middle school aged tryst with icanhascheezburger (or your stepmother shaved your cat last summer so it wouldn’t shed on everything you own), you know that funny cat photos are everywhere.
You might not be as familiar with the world of non-lolcat photography, or what some people call Professional Cat Photography. Emily Moody ’15 showed me this article while we were studying in an empty classroom in Fisk, so you know it’s a bona fide procrastination destination. At first I thought it was some comedic genius on par with one of the funniest movies of all time, Best In Show. I was mistaken. This is the real deal, folks. There is a company called Chanan (less fun than Chana, but perhaps more absurd), comprised of a husband and wife team who professionally photograph cats.
Yaaaaaaawn. Just another boring day in Middletown, Connecticut. Parents pull their cars up to WestCo, packing up mini-fridges and bedding as frosh frantically try to hide their drug paraphernalia. A chalked message is half washed away; only the word “bourgeois” is still legible. Red solo cups litter the sidewalk like insect corpses. But… suddenly… a noise breaks the silence on Andrus Field. bzzz. It grows louder. BZZZ. And that’s when… Brood II arrives.
What is Brood II, you ask? Brood II is the 17-year periodical magicicada clutch that will emerge this spring. Every 17 years, once the soil temperature at eight inches deep hits 64 degrees, the cicadas that have been gestating underground crawl to earth’s surface to reproduce. And then they die. And there are a lot of them. Billions of cicadas!
Nobody is exactly sure when this extremely disgusting and thrilling plague will hit — experts are estimating late May to early June in the Middletown area. With any luck, Brood II will seek fresh air in the days leading up to Reunion & Commencement (May 26th).
We took him to a special meal at Chef Mickey’s restaurant so he could meet all of his favorite Disney Characters.
Today, we bring you a silly tumblr called “Reasons My Son Is Crying.” It’s exactly what it sounds like: a parent posts pictures of hir son crying with description as to why the kid is so upset. Many of them are quite entertaining, and will likely lead the kid to look back on this blog many years from now and curse his parents for their literally portraying him as a whiny baby on the internet.
For previous Procrastination Destinations, click here.