Don’t Believe Their Lies.
There is something faux-modern about the new Energy Pods recently installed in the quiet corners of Olin and SciLi. The spherical casing is flimsy and oversized, the control keys unintuitive, and the display screen primitive and weird. The only thing cool about the machine is the fancy pod-like look. But don’t be fooled by the chic exterior, the future of power napping is actually pretty bleak. For more useless ramblings about my experience, read on. It’s midterms, am I right? (Are people still saying that? There are always large assignments all semester; it’s college)
When I got into the SciLi pod this evening, I put my feet up and expected to be transported to a cosmic world of comfort previously unfathomable to current 21st-century earthlings. But the chair goes back in a fixed position, so you can’t really lay your weary head to rest, and my neck felt propped up and stiff. Admittedly, I wasn’t actually looking for the prefab twenty-minute power nap, but I wouldn’t have stayed even if I was. Note: the button for the default nap has an upside down exclamation point, so that’s weird. As I rotated the casing to block out the light, I felt like I was in an outdated planetarium exhibit at a shitty science museum. I plugged my headphones in to hear an elderly British robot wishing me a pleasant snooze. That whole Judi Dench-James Bond bullshit just wasn’t going to cut it, though.