Insomnia Cookies is the greatest thing to happen in the 21st century hands down. For the past two years, I’ve heard bougie students complain: “Why don’t we have a Chipotle near campus? Where is the Starbucks? Why can’t I have freshly baked cookies delivered to my door when I’ve high out of my mind at 2 am on a Saturday night and I’m halfway through a documentary about Scientology?”
Have no fear Wesleyan community. The Drunken Goods is here to answer your prayers. For more info on how to get your late night fixing, hit the jump.
Not your mother’s video about having sex with rock stars.
The newest video from Amanda Palmer ’98’s crowdfundedalbumTheatre is Evil, “Do it with a Rockstar”is a brilliant, overwhelming send-up of your everyday girlie music video. Palmer has quite a bit to say about how it was made on her blog. There are groupies, men in drag who spend more time on their appearance than the band members, and girl-on-girl make-out scenes.
“Bitch doesn’t shave and what’s going on with her eyebrows,” quips one of the drag queens, and Palmer is subsequently found rockin’ some major armpit hair. There is a circle of particularly repugnant specimens of our generation (in her blog post, she calls them “phone drones”) who end up at Palmer’s show despite the fact that she is “a scientologist, an ableist… she hates men, she hates women, she hates everything.” This is probably Palmer’s way of addressing the controversy over her crowdsourcing her touring band, as well as the kind of critical crap that gets hurled at every unconventional-looking woman on YouTube. The girl who says this is later found pulling a salami out of a band member’s pants and eating it.
After seeing the amount of glitter that goes flying in the video, it’s perhaps unsurprising to know that the Flaming Lips’ Wayne Coyne is the director behind the video.
Fighting Scientology with computer-generated speech software! Because whoever took the time to make this, as well as set up a Gmail account for Wesleyan Anonymous, deserves some recognition.
EDIT (not by Justin): And here is the text for your enjoyment (notice the quote from Boondock Saint’s) HELLO Wesleyan student body. We are Anonymous and we have manifested ourselves in this video to draw your attention to a vital issue. Anonymous has rallied in order to redress the crimes of the Church of Scientology and combat the threat it poses both in cyberspace and real space. The Church is an insidious body responsible for destroying the lives of its enslaved membership, attempting to censor the Internet and attempting to defraud government institutions in order to secure its ill gotten financial gain. For those seeking evidence of these claims, Anonymous suggest that you Google the following key words: Lisa McPherson, Elli Perkins and Operation Snow White. Thus, Anonymous has decided that this organization must be dismantled for the good of its followers, humankind and for our own enjoyment. Please note that this enterprise is not a vendetta against Scientology’s doctrine or individual Scientologists. Rather it is the opposite. Anonymous hopes to liberate these people from an oppressive and ill-conceived institution. We hold that one’s religious beliefs are one’s own affair. Our movement is non-violent and centered around demonstration. We hope that you will join us as fellow anonymous on the Ides of March as we stand united against this tyranny. Finally, the core of our collective outrage and our message to the Church is this: Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles that every man of every faith can embrace. These are not polite suggestions. These are codes of behavior and those of you who ignore them will pay the dearest cost. For those who disregard them, Anonymous will be there. There will be consequences.
Thank you for your attention.
Anonymous is One. Anonymous is Legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget.