“The administration has decided that ‘senior cocktails’ will no longer occur in the way they have existed.”
The national media frenzy has come and gone, but the lasting aftermath of last week’s Senior Cocks debacle isn’t going to fade quite so quickly. After a week of tense silence, you knew a statement from the Senior Class Officers was coming. You also knew it wasn’t going to be pretty. Today, it arrived.
The five-paragraph, 600-word email makes clear that last week’s events have put an end to Senior Cocks not only for the Class of 2013, but for all future classes. “Beyond the cancellation of all senior cocktails for future classes, the damage and destruction caused by our senior class last Friday has put our own Senior Week in jeopardy,” the officers write. “There was damage to some exhibits and extensive cleaning necessary at the museum, potential damage to the buses, and possibly damage to the DJ’s equipment as well.” Then there is the damage done to Wesleyan’s reputation among Connecticut venues and services: “The transportation company we have used for our senior events has refused to work with us, and some of our planned Senior Week venues are reevaluating whether they will still host us.” What goes unmentioned in the email is the damage done by viciously mocking media coverage in the week following the event, but that speaks for itself.
In light of this statement, last Friday’s buffoonery went well beyond dinosaur joyrides and escalator injuries. And it was more egregious than vomit on the stairs or gratuitous sex in the bathroom.
Remember when I told you to buy your senior passes two weeks ago? Well, it seems that a few of you slackers did not heed my advice, so the senior class officers have extended one final opportunity to purchase passes. Today is your last chance to buy a full or fall pass for the Senior Events this academic year. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck buying guest passes for each event. There is a limited supply of guest passes per event, so you may miss out on an event. Get your act together and get on over to Usdan between 12 and 1 p.m. today or Olin between 8 and 9 p.m. tonight. Class President David Shor ’13 adds an additional warning:
Today is the absolute last time that we will sell full or fall passes. There will be zero chances after today.
Having lived with David, I don’t think that he’s messing around. So get your senior passes today!
Hey Class of 2013, remember when you voted the handsome devil David Shor ’13, featured above, as your Class President? This week, he’s writing in to remind you to pick up your Senior Pass and consider making a contribution to SWAG, the Seniors of Wesleyan Annual Gift. Seniors should remember that the Senior Gift contributes to a financial aid scholarship that will be awarded to an incoming Wesleyan freshman next year. The Class of 2013 has a goal of 92% participation and $15,000 raised. Here’s the important info, worded far more coherently than his initial write-up:
Senior events are a tremendous opportunity to enjoy the company of your entire class, from your best friend to your freshman year hallmate who always bumped the best jams. They are a chance to truly enhance the memories of senior year that you will cherish for years to come after graduation. Don’t miss out on these great events. You will regret it. More information about the passes, their sale, and the Senior Gift after the jump.