Tag Archives: seniors

Senior Voices Ceremony

Imam Adeel Zeb, Wesleyan’s Muslim Chaplain, writes in about the annual Senior Voices ceremony:

Dear Seniors,

Please save the date of May 25th 6PM for an integral part of the graduation weekend.

Senior voices is a ceremony in which a faculty member elected by members of the senior class, delivers a short talk addressed directly and specifically to graduating seniors. This year, we are delighted that Professor Elvin Lim has agreed to speak. In addition, three graduating seniors (Glenn Stowell ‘13, Jacob Eichengreen ’13, and Isaiah Sypher ‘13) will share their experiences before ending their Wesleyan career and beginning a new chapter of their lives. They will reflect, share and recap some of their unique and transformative moments from their years at Wes. Olivia May ’13, will be performing as well. Seniors will receive a red rose as a parting gift.

The event will take place in Memorial Chapel and will conclude by 7PM. This event is non-ticketed.

Please share this with friends and families as they will enjoy being part of the celebration as well.”

Date: Saturday, May 25
Time: 6:00 p.m.
Place: Memorial Chapel
Cost: Free

THESISCRAZY: The Sweet Sweet Sexin’ Edition

Think writing is the only thing going on in those thesis carrels? Think again.

You’ve heard about theses about sex. You’ve also heard about theses that are not about sex. But have you heard about the sex… about theses? (‘About’ there being used as a preposition to indicate proximity or nearness, and here being used to indicate overly pretentious grammatical analysis.)

Anyway, if you’re a senior frantically trying to make whole chapters coherent (or written), you received a survey a few weeks ago (inspired by this old Argus article from the 1995) about how much sweet sweet sexin’ you’ve been getting in your carrel (or not carrel) in between the coffee runs. About 20 percent of you managed to fill it out, and by the looks of it the rest of you were too busy bangin’ to complete the survey. Here are the results, with a few choice excerpts:

Have you ever had sex in your carrel?    Yes: 48% (56% at least masturbated)

Highlights:

“Yep. Haven’t really been able to concentrate in my carrel ever since.”

“Yes. I’ve spent more time having sex in my carrel than working there.”

“yes, oral. but planning on having vaginal intercourse in my carrel soon.”

“Yes, both masturbation and with a partner. We found the chair and desk especially useful surfaces.”

THESISCRAZY PART 3: The (Almost) Final Hour

“[My thesis would be] Order of the Phoenix, where they’re sort of chasing loose ends and everyone dies…”

Alas, another installment of THESISCRAZY is upon us. Enjoy the laughs, the tears, the forms of procrastination. Honestly, I think the thesis writers speak for themselves. Check out this year’s previous installments of THESISCRAZY here and here. For past years of “Don’t do it!”, check ’em out here. To follow along with the #thesiswhy hashtag, click here.

Reads more THESISCRAZY after the jump. If you’re writing a thesis and want to be interviewed, contact us before Friday at staff(at)wesleying(dot)org. Consider putting a lot of exclamation points in the title so we see it and know how stressed you are.

THESISCRAZY PART 2: Olin $W@G

Plans for April 12: “Getting really drunk and then going to see Spring Breakers.

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To get this out of the way: yes, I don’t have any science students in this lovely Part 2; I do, however, have a Classics major (and I guess those are more rare?). But exciting news: we will definitely probably most likely kinda sorta have some science kiddies in our next post (Science people, OPEN YOUR CARRELS TO US. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?!?!).

Read after the jump to see more THESISCRAZY seniors. For previous THESISCRAZY installments, click here. To see our very nice 2013 THESISCRAZY Part 1, check it out here.

THESISCRAZY: It Begins

Universal plans for April 12? “To give zero fucks about anything.”

It’s that time of year when seniors begin to pull their hair out (literally), sleep under their desks, and string together crazy amounts of run-on sentences that make English teachers everywhere shudder.

Welcome to THESISCRAZY, the feature where we, the fearless writers of Wesleying, maneuver our way into the corners of campus where thesis writers work live and hit them with rapid-fire questions about their theses.

Read after the jump to see the first installment.

Statement: Senior Cocktails are Cancelled Forever, and No One’s Getting a Refund

“The administration has decided that ‘senior cocktails’ will no longer occur in the way they have existed.”

The national media frenzy has come and gone, but the lasting aftermath of last week’s Senior Cocks debacle isn’t going to fade quite so quickly. After a week of tense silence, you knew a statement from the Senior Class Officers was coming. You also knew it wasn’t going to be pretty. Today, it arrived.

The five-paragraph, 600-word email makes clear that last week’s events have put an end to Senior Cocks not only for the Class of 2013, but for all future classes. “Beyond the cancellation of all senior cocktails for future classes, the damage and destruction caused by our senior class last Friday has put our own Senior Week in jeopardy,” the officers write. “There was damage to some exhibits and extensive cleaning necessary at the museum, potential damage to the buses, and possibly damage to the DJ’s equipment as well.” Then there is the damage done to Wesleyan’s reputation among Connecticut venues and services: “The transportation company we have used for our senior events has refused to work with us, and some of our planned Senior Week venues are reevaluating whether they will still host us.” What goes unmentioned in the email is the damage done by viciously mocking media coverage in the week following the event, but that speaks for itself.

In light of this statement, last Friday’s buffoonery went well beyond dinosaur joyrides and escalator injuries. And it was more egregious than vomit on the stairs or gratuitous sex in the bathroom.

Senior Cocks: The Best of the Incident Report

14-Cocktail-Glass-hat-Crazy-Hats

By now everyone is aware that Friday night’s Senior Cocks ended when a band of biology majors went mad with grief and destroyed  the giant brontosaurus statue for reasons that have become quite controversial.

Through a chain of individuals, Wesleying received two quotes reported to be from the museum’s “Incident Report.” They are, to say the least, brilliant. 

The two quotes are copied below, and, as always, your comments and absurdities are greatly encouraged.

1. “Wesleyan student removed from the 6th floor for riding the dinosaur.”

2. “Wesleyan student fell down the up escalator. And continued falling as if in a perpetual motion machine.”

Want to yell about this incident in all-caps until you get your aggression out? Click here.

Senior T-Shirt Design Competition

Daniele Packard ’13 and Grace Zimmerman ’13: write in with an important announcement for the freshest class around. That’s 2013, in case there was every any doubt…

You seniors know that 2013 is fly.  It’s just a fact, plain and simple.  As SWAG Interns, we certainly know it.  We want you, the Class of 2013, to represent our class through our t-shirt design contest. The t-shirt (or tank, you decide!) will be themed “That’s so Wesleyan..” or “That’s so Wes..” if you’re into abbreviations. The design must contain the quoted theme for this year on the shirt. The shirt can incorporate up to three colors, and can only involve printing on one side. Any design format is welcome (pictures, collages, words, haiku, etc.). Designs with profanity, offensive language, or slurs will not be accepted.

DEADLINE EXTENDED UNTIL WEDNESDAY (10/11) AT 11:59 P.M.

Senior Meeting: L.O.S.T (Learning Opportunity for Surviving the Transition)

Just arrived at your final year of school, know what trichotillomania is but not where you’re working after graduation? This is important if you want the Career Center to help:

Seniors, feeling a little L.O.S.T.? Senior Meeting is your Learning Opportunity for Surviving the Transition. Meet the staff, make a
connection, ask a question!

TWO OPPORTUNITIES TO ATTEND:

  • Tuesday, September 4th at 7 pm in Tishler
  • Friday, September 7th at 12:15 pm in Crowell Concert Hall

Join the Career Center staff for a quick guide to Senior Year Career Center style. We will have information on how you can get the most out of the Career Center whether you are searching for a job, applying to graduate and professional school, and/or planning something else such as volunteering, or seeing the world! Exciting events and important dates from the CC calendar will be highlighted.

Scenes From the Tent Party: The Heems-Miranda-MGMT Alumni Complex

Q: What’s more Wesleyan than a Commencement Eve Tent Party featuring cameos by Das Racist’s Himanshu “Heems” Suri ’07, playwright Lin-Manuel Miranda ’02, and a wedding-style funk cover of “Kids”? A: Probably nothing. We’re late on posting this, but hey, it’s summer, we straight-chillin’.

We don’t have video of Heems dropping a brief verse before flailing around the back of the stage, but we do have a clip of a funkified “Kids,” as performed by Kinky Spigot and the Welders (Lillian Ruiz ’08, Nicole Tirado Strayer ’07, Amanda Facelle ’09, Marlon Bishop ’07, Vlad Gutkovich ’07, Yoni Rabino ’07, Jon Hutchinson ’07, and Tess Amodeo-Vickery ’07). Scroll through the gallery below for a key shot of Heems bonding with Wesleying’s own viral star Kill-F Feinstein ’13.

In semi-related news, Miranda ’02 gave a talk to the Wesleyan Alumni Association. Watch it here.

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Edit: An anonymous commenter writes in, “You forgot about the Party on Fountain girl, who I’m pretty sure stagedived during this song.” Yes! I didn’t spot her, but both A-Batte (via text message) and Lin-Manuel Miranda ’02 (via Twitter) mentioned sightings of Molly ’06, the star of “Party on Fountain.” Can someone do a retrospective WesCeleb interview?