Listen, AJ “Big Bird” Hinds ’12, I don’t even know why you’re sending emails to me. Everybody knows that almost EVERY-FRIGGIN’-BODY shows up to Spirits shows when they happen. And it usually gets buzz in the best, traditional way possible: word of mouth. You know what? Word of mouth is great. Word of mouth is old school. If you get 100+ people to your performance due to word of mouth, guess what? You just got so much street cred, Winnie the Pooh is gonna have the honey-gasm of his life.
But here you are. Sending me an email to promote the Spirits/Sinners show on Wesleying. And, oh, look, you even attached a stupid picture with a guy who looks like Botoxed-Lebowski. You know what you just did? You brought down the cred man, you brought it down bad. I hope Garth Taylor ’12 shows up, because somebody’s gotta clean up the mess you just made.
“For the past four years, the Wesleyan Spirits and the Cardinal Sinners have been content singing on their own, never even considering that there could be something more. But fear not, friends! We have learned the error of our ways, and wish to invite you all to a musical miracle, a sing-song spectacular, an [insert obnoxious alliteration here]!
Where: Olin Lobby
When: Saturday 11/12, 8:00-8:45pm
Come enjoy some music, without all the clutter of those damned instruments, and then head off into the night to party–or whatever you kids do nowadays…”
Read on to see the original email.