We’re in a tough spot. Our age group has to deal with a melting planet, a thriving possum population, and a plethora of potential employers that expect us to know how to use Excel. That sucks for us sassy NESCAC kids. In spite of these obstacles, there is supposed to be a light in the dark, a city upon a hill, a beautiful beacon of hope: memes.
But, alas, Wesleyan’s meme culture is less than ideal. I would call it bad.
Editor’s note: The original post incorrectly identified the URL of the site as wesmaps.com. We apologize for the error and will fact-check our memes more thoroughly in the future.
Wisly Juganda ’20 tipped us off to wesportal.com, a wacky alternate universe version of WesMaps/WesPortal (are we in the upside-down???).
Featuring a tiled background of “If Michael Roth Was A Character From Harry Potter, He Would Be Dumbledore, Says Michael Roth,” the site is evocative of geocities. This seems like a fitting tribute to the 10 year anniversary of the inauguration of Michael Roth ’78 as Wesleyan’s President, which just so happens to be today.
You can add to the message board on the left side, which currently has posts like, “Can I access moodle from this” from guest and ‘i hate this’ from our very own michael roth.
In the center of the site, there’s the infamous bagel pb&j that haunted Soggy We$ Memes in a 3-post saga (courtesy of Oren Maximov ’17), complete with a poll to respond to the question of whether the bagel pb&j is indeed a sandwich.
At the bottom of the page there’s this gem (the button tragically doesn’t work, so you’re stuck with the points calculator):
There’s also a button saying, “Click here to go to the real Wesportal,” but, in an infuriating game of cat and mouse, it moves everytime you try to click on it.
We are extremely curious who did this, so if you have any leads, send them our way (staff[at]wesleying[dot]org)!