Thanks, Onion:
“Harvard is proud to honor the tremendous merits of Adderall, without which many of you would not be sitting here today,” Faust said in her opening address to the nearly 1,900 unblinking and intensely focused students receiving their diplomas. “I don’t think I’m exaggerating matters when I say that Adderall has [...]
Don’t you just get a thrill every time a Wesleyan professor is featured by some news organization? News organizations constantly turn to university professors to use their expertise to weigh in on any given topic, whether it be CNN, The New York Times, or even The Washington Post. But this Wes Prof, “Dr. Robert Woodson, [...]
Sometimes The Onion gets it so right it hurts. Hard. And by “sometimes” I clearly mean “most of the time.” Here’s a bold solution to recession-related graduation woes that makes way more sense than it probably ever should:
In a bold new measure intended to address unemployment among young professionals, lawmakers from across the political [...]
November 25, 2009 – 11:05 PM
This Onion piece is from 2008. But it’s way too relevant not to share:
For the fifth straight year, Jordan McCabe will return home for the holidays and spend the night before Thanksgiving running into every smug and unlikable asshole he ever went to high school with, the 26-year-old reported Monday.
The trip back home, scheduled for [...]
November 7, 2009 – 8:48 PM
With Thanksgiving Break just around the corner, this Onion piece seems oddly relevant:
“Some of the kids who don’t know who I am will probably just think I’m some hip, young teacher,” the returning hero said as he was repeatedly pushed aside by a crowd of students rushing to get to class. “And I bet those [...]
Apparently The Onion doesn’t like Transformers or Wesleyan’s distinguished alumnus, Michael Bay ‘86.
LOS ANGELES—In the largest deal ever made to shit out a movie, Warner Bros. and director Michael Bay announced a landmark $50 million agreement this week to monumentally fuck up ThunderCats.
“I couldn’t be more excited to completely fuck this up,” said Bay, who [...]
December 12, 2008 – 12:43 AM
A 2002 Onion article neatly captures everything I love about Wesleyan students. A snippet:
I’m a pretty sophisticated, well-educated person. I went to Wesleyan, where I got my B.A. in comparative literature. I listen to This American Life on NPR. I’ve traveled abroad fairly extensively and even spent a year living in London. Given all [...]
December 11, 2008 – 11:43 PM
A 2002 Onion article neatly captures everything I love about Wesleyan students. A snippet:
I’m a pretty sophisticated, well-educated person. I went to Wesleyan, where I got my B.A. in comparative literature. I listen to This American Life on NPR. I’ve traveled abroad fairly extensively and even spent a year living in London. Given all [...]
February 25, 2008 – 2:20 AM
Michael Bay ‘86 has been getting kicked around in the press lately, especially by Gawker for his role in a Verizon ad in which he mocks himself and his penchant for big special effects—and even bigger explosions.
And now The Onion has jumped on board, writing that Bay bought advertising time during the Oscars to show [...]
February 25, 2008 – 1:20 AM
Michael Bay ‘86 has been getting kicked around in the press lately, especially by Gawker for his role in a Verizon ad in which he mocks himself and his penchant for big special effects—and even bigger explosions.
And now The Onion has jumped on board, writing that Bay bought advertising time during the Oscars to show [...]
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