The moment we’ve all been waiting for is here. The new 2012 Princeton Review College Rankings are out! So wipe away those tears of joy, and actually take a look at the ratings. You’re probably wondering what we ranked as this year. Maybe #15 Reefer Madness and #11 Least Religious Students like we did in 2009? How about #13 Birkenstock-Wearing, Tree-Hugging, Clove-Smoking Vegetarians and #16 Least Religious Students like in 2010? At least #10 Best College Library and #19 Best College Theater like in 2011, right?
Wrong. We’re not reefer-mad, politically active liberal vegetarians with awesome acting skills in a luxurious library anymore. We’re not any one of those things. Wesleyan did not rank in the top 20 in any of these categories we performed so well in previously, but we do have a new honor. We can thank Middletown for this one, because Wesleyan is now…
There are honestly few things I miss more during the summer than ridiculous town-gown-related P-Safe alerts (see: Lawn Ave cowtipping) filling my inbox. Thankfully, a highlight from today’s Middletown Press is here to fill the void. Big ups to Solomon Dill of 416 Long Lane, who reportedly “told police that everyone else was taking stuff so he felt he could too”:
According to witnesses, area residents were taking items from students who were leaving the college for summer break. A group of locals were allegedly hovering outside a campus parking lot on Williams Street while students were removing items from their apartments and packing them away into vehicles.
Police observed Solomon Dill, 31, of 416 Long Lane, walking away from the area toward public housing on Traverse Square. He was carrying what appeared to be a computer tower or printer, police said. The item was soon identified as an “all-in-one Hewlett Packard printer,” according to the arrest report.
As always with Middletown Press, reader comments make the article a delight—including golden nuggets of wisdom like “send him on the bus to HAAAAAAAAAAAARTTTTTFRREEEEEDDD!!!” and this gem from “Southie”:
“Hey Dill, there is a group of people getting ready to jump off the Arrigoni at noon today. Everyone else is doing it so we hope to see you too. The water’s fine.”