We took him to a special meal at Chef Mickey’s restaurant so he could meet all of his favorite Disney Characters.
Today, we bring you a silly tumblr called “Reasons My Son Is Crying.” It’s exactly what it sounds like: a parent posts pictures of hir son crying with description as to why the kid is so upset. Many of them are quite entertaining, and will likely lead the kid to look back on this blog many years from now and curse his parents for their literally portraying him as a whiny baby on the internet.
For previous Procrastination Destinations, click here.
Now you can relive your awkwardest Internet glory days on livejournalMySpaceTumblr.
Jesse R-S ’13: “‘My Little Needle’ was a song by the Alkaline Trio, my favorite band in 5th grade. I presume it’s about heroin.”
Last month, Yatta Zoker ’14 (screen name: ” tumblinhottie05″) launched a Facebook event (the all-capsed “OMG I JUST REALIZED I DON’T HAVE YOUR SCREEN NAME“), began soliciting fellow WesKids’ AOL screen names and corresponding photos, and inadvertently set off a wave of contagious AOL nostalgia (nostAOLgia?). The submissions came flooding in, and with them torrents of comments, likes, and general look-back-and-laugh hilarity. Naturally, the results are worthy of archiving on Tumblr, and Zoker has finally gotten around to putting one together: “hey, what’s your sn?” If you missed all the fun, you can still submit your own screen name to the Tumblr via this link.
“I’ve always thought of old screen names as a hilarious insight into people’s past pysches,” Zoker explained to me in an IM email. “The Facebook event was initially meant to be the start of an archival project for my Photo II class, but it didn’t fly as fine art. Smh. Regardless, it’s been a blast. Screen names are such a beautiful display of the struggle for tweens to create identity. Also, mostly, lol.”
In the meantime, we’ve compiled some of the highlights below (leaving out last names, because no one wants this crap showing up on Google). Relive your awkwardest Internet moments below, and for more AOL nostalgia, check out “your away message.”
First, let us marvel at the premise of this website. I can handle the fact that there are places on the internet devoted entirely to children’s jokes. This much was inevitable. What is crazy is that there is an adult somewhere who reads the jokes for a living. I don’t really know how to feel about this.
Second, it should be noted that I take issue with the basic premise of this website. These jokes are not bad. They should not be derided as cute examples of childish attempts at humor. These kids are the real deal. Displaying comic sensibilities far beyond their purportedly tender years, these children are not afraid to lay down some raw material. Click past the jump for a few of my personal favorites …
A post about a Tumblr about comics about a Twitter feeddescribed as “cryptic missives that read like Zen koans which have been dropped on a computer keyboard from a great height.”
It’s the last week of the semester, Reading Week Two Days are upon us, and you know what that means: a fucking crateload of puppies are being shipped to Zelnick tomorrow it’s time for Wesleying’s biannual Procrastination Destination extravaganza. In brief, here’s the idea: from here on out, we’ll be posting a procrastinatory, addictive, and generally toxic link each day for the entirety of finals period. You’ll find yourself clicking these links and spamming your friends’ Facebook walls instead of starting the research paper that’s due tomorrow. You’re welcome. For previous Procrastination Destination content (which we won’t repeat), click here. To suggest a procrastinatory link, email us at staff(at)wesleying(dot)org.
Kicking off the series, today’s link is a Tumblr featuring comics about a Twitter feed described as “cryptic missives that read like Zen koans which have been dropped on a computer keyboard from a great height.” If you’re unfamiliar with bizarrely viral spam Twitter account @Horse_ebooks at this point in the game, just give up skim the Wiki entry, followed by the five most recent tweets:
Cultural misunderstandings, crazy and dangerous situations, inter-cultural friendships, love and disappointment and the excitement
This Thanksgiving, take some time out of your gluttony to remember the expatriates who can’t sit down to their tables stateside. To abroad students, today is a whirl of homesickness, isolation, and hunger pangs. So consider this post an expression of our gratitude to those who are living the American dream, from Delhi to Denmark. Thanks, folks, for responding to the call we put out earlier this semester; we hope to increase your readership one thousandfold.
“While you sit around broing out, blasting your dubstep and sipping your Natty, take comfort knowing that Obama is a bro just like you.”
Worried that Obama’s rapidly losing the crucial bro vote to VP pick and general stud Paul Ryan, noted mountain climber, marathon runner, and all-around workout freak? Fearing Democrats can’t possibly match the punny brilliance of Nobama and bumper sticker industrial complex? Not convinced that the leader of the free world is even a bro at all?
Take solace in BroBama, a new Tumblr created by an anonymous Wes student and reportedly commissioned by President Obama himself. Its tagline: “Harnessing the BroVote, one meme at a time.” Here’s the tip Wesleying received:
In an effort to harness the vote of the Bromosapean demographic in this coming November’s election, this blog—commissioned by President Obama himself and created by a Wesleyan student—has sprouted up across the internet and received wild support. So here’s one for all you Bros out there. While you sit around broing out, blasting your dubstep and sipping your Natty, take comfort knowing that Obama is a bro just like you!
From the Wesleyan photo Tumblr comes video footage of the Class of 2016 learning the Wesleyan Fight Song. From the photos, Arya Alizadeh ’13 appears to be co-leading the effort, alongside tireless alumni director John Driscoll ’62. It’s not the first time Alizadeh has been photographed in such a position. Extra credit to any frosh who can correctly identify which is class of 2013 and which is class of 1962.
da·guerre·o·type: an early photograph produced on a silver or a silver-covered copper plate; also : the process of producing such photographs
If your discipline involves studying the past but you’re feeling rather undisciplined, today’s Procrastination Destination is just right for you. My Daguerreotype Boyfriendis a Tumblr “where early photography meets extreme hotness.”
Each post features a dude from the past whose appeal we can still today enjoy thanks to the invention of photography. Some daguerreotypes’ sources or subjects are not known (this guy is unknown but bears a strong resemblance to Orlando Bloom) while others are accompanied by interesting trivia or witty comments. Some daguerreotypes might serve as welcome fashion inspiration in these days of sweatpants and flip-flops. What they all have in common: these dudes have got it going on.
In the beginning, there was #whatshouldwecallme, which probably still clogs your Facebook feed on the daily with mostly insipid GIF/caption pairings describing everyday scenarios. As HuffPost describes its genesis,
“Two college BFFs move to opposite coasts for law school and stay in touch via G-chat, sending each other funny GIFs to describe and share events, situations, and the way they’re feeling. The girls decide to turn their GIF convos into a Tumblr page, which goes viral and now receives between one and two million hits per day.”
Enter #callmethis, the annoying viral GIF Tumblr to end all annoying viral GIF Tumblrs. The GIFs are all familiar. Scroll without reading and it could be any of the other blogs. But the captions don’t describe situations involving inside jokes at your summer camp. They just describe the GIFs. For example:
To those of you still working on things and such: God help you. (Unless you’re Christopher Hitchens.) To those of you living under a rock in the shape of Olin Library these past few days: GOP presidential hopeful Rick Perry has a new campaign video! It’s called “Strong,” and YouTube comments are disabled for a reason: it’s mighty controversial. In the ad, Perry decries fights back against the liberal plot to ban Christmas, decrying “liberal attacks on our religious heritage” and declaring, “There’s something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school.” He begins by assuring that he’s not ashamed to be a Christian, and then walks up a weirdly sloped hill.
It began as a plea for the evangelical vote. It has ended up as one of the best memes of 2011, inspiring a Twitter hashtag (#XmasWarDiaries), a brilliant Tumblr, and about a bazillion YouTube parodies.