Editor’s Note: While it can be fun to joke about professor crushes, we want to emphasize that this post represents fictional situations, and that we do not promote such relationships in real life. We don’t want to make light of the actual harmful power dynamics that can arise from these prohibited relationships. Furthermore, research and experiences of Wesleyan professors have shown that the objectification of female and non-white professors is a barrier to them advancing in their fields, particularly when it comes to course evaluations.

Wesleying extends our support and our platform to any survivor of sexual misconduct who wishes to share their story. We condemn all forms of sexual misconduct including professor-student relationships and discriminatory employment practices based on gender. If you believe that you or someone else has been the recipient of such advances, you can always reach out to SACE Director Johanna DeBari or SACE Intern Rachele Merliss ‘19 to talk, and you can find a complete list of on- and off-campus resources here.

this is just some german mathematician we found on the internet

We all know how it starts: First they asked the class to call them by their first name, but soon enough you’re giving each other the eyes in Tishler and making out in Music Studios practice rooms. What started out as a spark has turned into an illicit romance between you and a man or woman a decade or four older than you. What now?

Fear not! If you’re an aspiring Emmanuel Macron struggling on how and where to spend extra-curricular time with your Brigette, we’ve got you covered. The criteria:

Intimacy: How romantic is it?
Privacy: How secluded is it?
Convenience: How accessible is it?
Covertness: How easy would it be to explain to a nosy Michael Roth?

Let’s get that extra credit!