I’m not salty that someone hasn’t professed their crush on me.
But I am currently matching my red beret with my red lipstick because ~studying abroad in Europe~, and I’m just,,,disappointed.
In case you didn’t see the newest development in “Wesleyan attempts to make another Facebook page outside of Soggy We$ Memes,” someone decided to create a Wesleyan Crushes Facebook group. Now, because I’m hopeful that one day Wesleyan will transform into a campus with some actual romance (and maybe also because I just made a playlist called “when in the mood for monogamy”), I’m willing to find my Wesleyan husband™ not via a Pi Cafe Romance™, but through a community with Roth’s face as the profile pic.
I’ve been single for way too long.
Since I’m six hours ahead of ya’ll, I was informed of this new matchmaking/hookup-making/maybe even wholesome content-making platform at around 5 AM. And I’m not sure how I coherently sent this message to the editors’ chat, but this happened:
Now, I’ve had my hand in Internet Dating Culture™ for the purposes of making a fool of myself on Wesleying. This time, I’ve taken it upon myself to make sure the Wesleying Editors are painted in the best light so that, dear Wesleyan community, we can receive validation via this platform.