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New Film Series Features ‘Goodfellas,’ ‘Argo,’ ‘Strangelove,’ Various Important Films I Haven’t Seen

Just further proof that the Argus should change its motto to “Argo Fuck Yourself.”

Nothing quite signals the start of a new semester like the unveiling of a new Film Series calendar. Today the Wesleyan Fucking Film Series’ prestigious social media intern awoke from a deep slumber to share the news. Here’s a preview.

Possibly to mark the recent departure of longtime Director of Media and Public Relations David Pesci, the Film Board has chosen to honor Pesci’s legacy by screening a film starring his estranged brother Joe, Goodfellas—arguably the best gangster film ever. (I jest, they’re not actually related, but getting to see Goodfellas on the big screen almost makes up for the number of times the Film Board has ignored my request for Once Upon a Time in America.) If you think you can nail the “You think I’m funny?” monologue, come prepared to do it into the Goldsmith microphone.

Other highlights on the new calendar include the excellent Oscar-nominated Argo, which is further proof that the Argus should change its motto to “Argo Fuck Yourself”; Cold War favorite Dr. Strangelove, which continues a recent string of Kubrick classics that has also included Full Metal Jacket and The Shining; and Coen brothers masterpiece No Country for Old Men, which will make you nostalgic for that time in high school when you creepily called everyone “friendo.” Because Halloween is too long to wait, they’re also showing Alien.

Oh, and the first movie of the semester is West Side Story. Get ready  for singing, if you’re into that sort of thing.

The Wesleyan Fucking Film Series is Showing Purple Fucking Rain

And Jurassic Park! And Vertigo! And… The Room????

You’ve been waiting with purple breath. The day has finally come.

No, not Freshmen Move-In Day (although that is happening right now. Our photos are forthcoming, but check out the excited faces of these wide-eyed freshmen!) It’s the unveiling of the first 2012-2013 Wesleyan Fucking Film Series Calendar! Click here for the full lineup. Most notably, we’re being treated to a showing of Prince’s 1984 cinematic extravaganza Purple Rain on September 28, because the Film Board finally realized that the Artist Formerly Known as the Goldsmith Family Cinema was constructed for literally no other purpose.

Other note-worthy highlights include Hitchcock masterpiece Vertigo (for the four or five students who haven’t taken Past on Film yet), dinosaur screamfest Jurassic Park, 2012 blockbuster The Avengers (all I can make out from the blurb is “come worship at the church of Whedon,” but that says enough), and epic spaghetti western Duck, You Sucker! (which probably fills the Film Series’ Sergio Leone quota for the academic year, denying my dream of seeing Once Upon a Time in America at the Goldsmith).

In the words of esteemed Film Board curator Danny Witkin ’13, “I fully endorse this calendar. This calendar’s record of the issues important to conservatives is unparalleled. It is the single best calendar to get our country back on track.” Click past the jump for the full Film Series calendar.