Tag Archives: westacles

Photos: Awesomefest Holds Contest for Worst Band, Everybody Wins

Future employers, meet Master of Ceremonies J**e W****y.

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Awesomefest seems to finally have a unified purpose behind its name, and it’s not what the non-ironically-minded might expect. The event at Eclectic, the various incarnations of which I’ve attended at many junctures during my time at Wesleyan, always seemed torn between genuinely debuting new bands and the joke acts of usually talented music majors and other prominent musicians. This year, though, the jokier bands truly got my attention, and perhaps exhibited greater creativity by breaking out of the confines of good music — if it could even be called music at all.

There was Zak Malik ’14 attempting to play drums while singing “Levels” by AVICII at the same time. The vocals got the short end of the stick, coming out more like “DA-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN, DUN-DUN-DUN-DUNH-DA-DA-DUNH-DUNH” than anything tuneful. There was Malik’s Lion King song cover band with Henry Molofsky ’13 (who just did a Music thesis that I’m sure was wonderful and had a lot of serious value) that butchered the songs and couldn’t remember half of the lyrics. About halfway through “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King,” there appeared to be smoke streaming from Malik’s keyboard in my pictures; I showed the pictures to the kid next to me, and after a big misunderstanding he ended up asking the sound guy if there was anything wrong – but it only turned out to be the sound guy’s cigarette.

Stephan Stansfield ’13 and Rachel Connor ’13 (now ’14) — returning, happily, to the Wesleyan music scene after a long absence — played a surf rock song about being “back in the UAE” that devolved into a paean to the pleasures of boofing. A band called “Bryan J. ft. Travis Porter,” which included Molofsky, Aaron Khandros ’13, Bennett Kirschner ’13, and Connor, delivered what one fellow audience member opined was “the worst music [he] had ever heard,” with Kirschner screaming at the top of his lungs.  There was a strip show that ended with mashed bananas all over the floor and A-Batte somewhere under the stage, along with the microphone.

Wesbreasts & Westacles (Links NSFW)

Please fill out this brief questionnaire:

1. Are you at work? (yes / no) (If you answered “no” to this question, please continue to question #3)

2. If you answered “yes” to question #1, is your boss totally OK with employees looking at pictures of breasts and genitals on teh interwebz while on the clock? (yes / no) (If you answered “no” to this question, please tune out now)

3. Would you be interested in following a link to a Tumblr page called “Wesbreasts?” (yes / no) (If you answered “yes” to this question, please click here; if you answered “no,” please do not click in said location)

4. Are you offended by slight spelling errors? (kinda / not really) (If you answered “kinda” to this question, please employ caution in reading question #5)

5.  Would you be interested in following a link to a Tumblr page called “Westacles?” (yes / no) (If you answered “yes” to this question, please click here; if you answered “no” to this question, please keep calm and carry on)

[Thanks to anon for the titillating tip]