Have you ever casually walked by a room and accidentally witnessed some passionate afternoon delight? Have you ever pulled your eyes away from your own mating rituals only to make uncomfortable eye contact with a Peeping Tom through your window? Whether you’re the emotionally scarred bystander or the poor soul whose ass became the unfortunate target of public spectacle, you know the struggle that Wesleyan windows can pose for campus lovers. So unless you happen to be a nudist, exhibitionist, or get a kick out of public indecency, we have a few words of wisdom to prevent future embarrassment: CLOSE THE BLINDS AND DON’T TOUCH THE GLASS.

In order to really hammer (get it?) the message home, we have collected for you a few sad but true tales of Wesleyan Window Woes. So absurd and humiliating you think it’s a joke. But no, dear friends, this is real life.