It was last week, I believe, when one (VP) Sam Ebb ’13 lumbered over to me and requested to be interviewed by Wesleying. A boyish-looking ragamuffin with the beady, ever-searching eyes of a raccoon, Ebb revealed himself to be one of the WSA VP candidates in the upcoming elections cycle. He was running with one (P) Arya Alizadeh ’13 on the Presidential ticket—the rather large, animalistic-looking man often seen with a hat and an American flag. Their respective candidacies were news to me—unsurprisingly, actually, as I really didn’t care all that much. Further exacerbating my lack of care was the fact that Ebb approached me in the backyards of Fountain on a Thursday night. It was misty, cold, and miserable, and having just submitted my senior thesis earlier that afternoon, I was drunk, headachy, and struggling to maintain verticality. Needless to say, I was grumpy.

But for some reason I agreed, and because of Wesleying’s policy not to take sides in WSA elections (except where Giant Joint is concerned), I agreed to drag the other two candidates into the interview.

And so when I woke up this wet, rainy Saturday morning—this time hungover and dehydrated, and still grumpy like a mofo—I wondered of my purpose for going through with this. I am, after all, graduating in a few brief weeks. What do these people have that would in any way interest me?  (Also, didn’t the Argus already do some stupid interview with all the candidates?)

I pondered this as I sat in Usdan 136, waiting to start the interview, listening to Arya and Sam banter  about constitutional reviews and other important-sounding shit and watching the other candidates—(P) Zach Malter ’13, the straight-laced Presidential incumbent, and (VP) Mari Jarris ’14, his gummi-bear lookalike running mate—tinker with their iPhones.

And then I remembered what dear leader Zach instructed me to do going into it: “The challenge will be striking a balance between serious conversation about campus issues (don’t hold back) and total irreverence.” Alright, boss. I’ll try my best.

Click on to read the group interview, guest starring A-Batte, where we talk about chalking, tuition fees, campaigning, and horndoggery (oh wait, we cut that out?). It’s a little long, so watch out.